white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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