Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
