Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
