I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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