u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
