At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize