maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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