can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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