Kiss
Puke
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
