elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
