So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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