jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
