i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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