I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
