My first STD was from a foam party
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
