Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
