Cold hands, warm shart.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
