mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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