The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
tell me about the fingering
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