GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
