In the future we'll all be gay
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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