we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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