Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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