i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
