I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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