this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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