he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You know, be my cock's hype man.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
