Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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