just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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