pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
