Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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