I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
