My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
