just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
