I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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