I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
