I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Panties = found
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
