If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Enjoy the penises
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
