is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
