Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
