I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
