i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
