That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
