"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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