I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
