just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
