i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
