So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
