Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Randomize
