How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
