I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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