While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize