hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
