So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
