And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
are you so shy because you have an std?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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