She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
