I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
