soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
