her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
