So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
