i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize