I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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