ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
