Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
