those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Even my vagina gasped.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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