So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
