So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
