Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
