one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
how does that bad decision feel?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
