Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
