Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
