I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize